I Take Adderall, so I MUST be a Druggie

November 11, 2018

Do I look like a druggie? 
Pill popper? 
Meth head?
Or any other colorful names you may have for people who take stereotypically "bad/addictive" medications?
D-Amphetamine Salt Combo (Adderall) - 10mg as prescribed by a DOCTOR.
100% LEGAL and NEEDED prescription for the diagnosis of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

 

I don't take this pill every day. 5mg as needed. 
No undying cravings to take it unnecessarily. 
No withdrawal symptoms when I don't take it.

 

I see others posting how it's the "same thing" as meth. METH.
Along with articles about this drug being abused by everyone who takes it.
"Disgusting, uncontrollable addicts", they say.

 

Let's go over symptoms of this disorder.
Yes, I pulled these from google and I've experienced every.single.one, even in adulthood. 

Behavioral: aggression, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, or persistent repetition of words or actions.
Cognitive: absent-mindedness, difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, problem paying attention, or short attention span
Mood: anger, anxiety, boredom, excitement, or mood swings
Also common: depression or learning disability

 

I've struggled with these symptoms my entire life. 
In my school days, I was the usual, extra bouncy, unfocused, talkative kid. 
There has always been a lot going on in my brain, mostly nonsensical. As a kid I released this energy physically. I was all over the place and I didn't have a care in the world. 

As an adult, I'm still all those peachy, TOTALLY tolerable things (hint: this is sarcasm) I mentioned before, but this energy has become more mental
You certainly won't find me running laps, but I WILL overthink my every step.

Every one of them
I will talk and talk until there is literally nothing to talk about and then I will hum a tune and make odd noises to fill the empty space because silence makes me nervous, especially when I'm not busy. 

Inside my head, it's like someone has cranked the volume of my thoughts and random lines from annoying songs, and then removed the ability to turn them down. 
It doesn't ever stop. 
This causes great anxiety, especially when irrational thoughts are the loudest of them all.

 

You know what Adderall does for me? 
It shuts this inner monologue down (for the most part). 
It helps me to distinguish between real life and what my overactive imagination conjures. 
It helps me focus on what really matters, instead of the circus shit show nobody else can watch but me.

Stop putting people who take these medications to feel NORMAL, into the same pool as the ones who abuse it. 
Stop fear mongering people into not taking certain medications because of what "might" happen, or because "so and so" is a druggie. 
And please, if you do take possibly addictive prescription medication, use it responsibly.

I understand there are others who abuse this drug.
I am NOT one of them. 
And most of all, I am NOT ashamed of who I am because other people don't understand.

SIDE NOTE: I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression after my daughter was born, and I believe I was simply going through the "baby blues" for a little longer than normal. But I continued taking anti depressants. When those stopped working, I took vitamins, got my sunshine and water, exercised, had a healthy diet. When those things weren't working, I even had a medical mj card and that made things worse. My final attempt at antidepressants nearly killed me, and sent me spiraling into a mental breakdown.When I began Adderall, I could not believe how clear everything was. I wasn't suffering from depression and anxiety because of having a child. I was suffering because I had been misdiagnosed and ADHD was overlooked, despite the diagnosis as a child.

 

 

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