A Letter to the Abuser in My Life

June 23, 2017

 

Dear Anxiety,

You have been a part of my life for far too long. I've lost count of the many times you've consumed every inch of my being.
You tear me down when I'm strong, and devour me when I'm weak.
You and my vivid imagination work viciously together to make every intrusive thought burst to life and become my latest obsession.
This doesn't make any sense. My life is filled with love and happiness, yet you find every way not to accept it.
Good things happen and you rip them apart like they don't belong.
YOU'RE the one that doesn't belong.
I won't call you "MY" anxiety, because I don't own you, and you don't own me.
I'm sick of you. Absolutely sick to the core.
I don't want you anymore.
You lost your welcome the second I could no longer breathe, after imagining loved ones being buried in a 6 foot hole.
After you convinced me I'm nothing more than a worthless carcass, left for the vultures to pick apart.
This isn't the way I want to live.
I am choosing to let you go. I am choosing life and happiness over this infestation you've created.
I never want to see or hear from you again.
My thoughts and emotions will no longer be influenced by your inability to control your temper.
If you're really "all in my head" then so is every bit of positivity and motivation it will take to bury YOU in that hole you dug so many times.
You are powerless, and I have every reason to move on from this toxic relationship.
Now, it is time for you to loosen your grip from my throat and let me go, too.


Written by: Savannah Whitwam


 

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